I think we’ve got ourselves into a pickle with this human life thing. From what I’ve experienced, it seems that rather than doing our life to the fullest, most maximum, biggest of our capacity, which is what makes it so special, fun, adventurous, scary, exciting, dynamic, intense, breathtaking, crazy, we’ve been trying to dodge it, not feel it, not be it. But that’s not what life is about. When we hold back, for whatever reason, the dynamic is lost, life is on mute and confusing. We’ve been thinking that we’re supposed to be other – bigger, taller, ‘spiritual’, constantly in bliss, thinner, more freckly, less freckly, blonde, dark….but none of that makes any sense. If you have curly hair it’s because you chose to have curly hair. If you have freckles – like me – it’s because you chose to have them. The brilliance of us – human beings – is that we are all different, that’s the idea and yet we spend soooo much time, money and energy trying to be the same as others and different from ourselves. Deep down we don’t really want to be the same but we keep doing it anyway, then feel odd and don’t understand why. It’s confusing. We’ve got it all topsy turvy, inside out and upside down. We’re so funny.

Ok breath, pause, slow down. So if we’re doing the human thing upside down, the question is – Is it working? Like, how does it feel? How do you feel? If you feel great, great, I’m super happy for you 🙂 But if you don’t, if you feel kind of disconnected, lonely, confused, or that sense of trying so hard and yet it just does’t happen, maybe there’s a reason and maybe that reason doesn’t have to be complicated. Maybe the reason is because we’re walking backwards when we’re supposed to be walking forwards. Ever tried that? Yep it’s weird. Or eating soup from the back of your bowl – odd? tricky? Yes. We walk forward and eat soup in a particular way because it’s the easiest, makes sense and it’s also less messy. The other version is just…odd. 

Us ‘doing life’ at the moment, seems to involve seeing a photo of someone we don’t even know and then trying to be like them – same hair, clothes, voice etc, or we have someone in our life telling us we should dress a particular way, speak a certain way, hold ourselves differently and so we try, oh my goodness do we try but the more we try, the more confused we get because deep down it doesn’t feel right. We seem to be doing what we think we need to do, to be ….I don’t know, successful, happy, accepted but there’s something that’s just not right and yet we ignore that ‘not right’ feeling and keep trying anyway. It’s like desperately trying to get your foot into a toddlers shoe and not only not understanding why it won’t fit but then blaming yourself for the fact that it won’t fit. We’re hard on ourselves, forget to laugh, feel sad, angry and a myriad of other intense things because it’s not making sense, it’s not feeling right but we just don’t understand why. 

It’s the oddest thing and yet we all do it, until we don’t. Maybe it’s a protection thing. “If I look like them then I won’t get hurt, I’ll blend in, won’t get called out. It seems to be working for them, they seem to be happy, they seem to have it all.” At least we try to convince ourselves that’s true but really I don’t think so. The other day I showed my husband some photos from my teenage years and he was surprised by how happy I looked in all of them. Of course – camera, smile, say cheese 🙂 That’s part of the fitting in but maybe behind the smiles, we’re not always happy and that’s ok too. 

Life can be so challenging at times and from my experience, it’s most challenging when we try so desperately to be someone else, anyone other than ourselves. It’s as though part of us is having a nap whilst the other part is scramming desperately to keep up with life. We’re all

Oscar winning actors without even realizing it but that’s not where peace is and it’s not what we’re meant to be. We’re meant to be living our life fully, living our version fully, living our own personal us fully, that’s when there’s peace and that’s when it makes sense. 

Go live your life in your own style with your own mojo.

Until the next time…ciao salut bye bye. Go be you. I love you.